I have never been good at waiting. Waiting my turn...waiting for Christmas...waiting for my husband to propose. I have never been good at these things, and to be honest, I've never really had to wait for anything in my life, at least not like this. God is teaching me something I'm sure of it, even if I don't know exactly what that is.
When we decided to adopt, I knew I'd have to wait a long time, but it is so different to know this and to experience it. Some days I physically ache for my son to come home. I'm sure it wouldn't be like this if I hadn't spent that week with him in Haiti, and yet I'd run all the way to Haiti if I could just to spend an hour holding him, smelling him. I wonder about this mothering thing. Do fathers feel like this too? I know my husband cannot wait for Judson to be home, and yet, he is so much stronger than I am.
Someone said recently that this wait is just like being pregnant, but it's not. If I were pregnant my child would be with me. I keep thinking of Jesus' parable of the lost sheep. The man left the 99 sheep to find the one that was lost. My children here, Rosey and Joey, are safe and with me, but little Judson is in someone else's arms...I hope, but I fear he's lying in a crib alone because there are so many babies in need of love and attention and too few arms to give it.
The Lord is my Deliverer. He is my Rock and my Strength, my ever present Hope in time of need. I cling to this truth and ask the Lord to teach me something, anything during this time of waiting. Change my character...teach me to be more Christ-like, so this time of waiting will not be in vein.
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Laurie, you're not alone when it comes to the difficulty of waiting - that's one I struggle with, too! But I think you're right on to trust that God's embrace is big enough and wide enough to hold little Judson all the way over in Haiti, until he can come home to your family. Prayers for strength and patience and whatever else you need!
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